"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
