Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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