I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize