I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i will never coherently bang her
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
