Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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