She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
