im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize