You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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