How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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