He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
