i think my mom watched the whole time
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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