R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize