Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
