I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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