Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
