According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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