Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think your dad took our porno
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
