It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
