Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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