So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
