I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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