is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
