Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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