Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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