Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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