...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
