Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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