Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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