Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
