so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
