dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
