grandma shit on top of the toilet
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
