His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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