I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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