Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Are my feet made of real feet?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
