Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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