I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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