This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
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Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
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He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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