I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
