alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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