Where did you get a picture of my penis
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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