it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
