I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
