Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
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It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
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He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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