I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
