I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
