they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
