he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
