Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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