My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Bring me that man meat
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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