You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
