somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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