How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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