i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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