no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
