I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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